What's love got to do with it?

Is it true love? How do you know? What does it look like?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

What's love got to do with it? Is it love? How can you tell? I've been reading the book of First Kings. Boy, do I just love King Solomon? He has wisdom, discernment, and one of the smartest kings ever. I'll get into that later. In Jeremiah 31.3, it says, I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore I have continued to extend faithful love to you. When you pray to God for love, what do you ask for first? 1 Kings 8 57 says, May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our ancestors. May he not abandon us or leave us? Is it discernment that you pray for? So you can be wise and understanding in your heart, like King Solomon? Or do you ask for riches? Do you ask to marry a doctor, a lawyer, or someone who owns their own business? What exactly are you looking for? Would you be happy if you married someone that was poor, but later turned his life around? Would you marry someone poor, but they helped you around the house, and that was your love language? Or they touched you because that's your love language. Or you need gifts, and he picked flowers from the backyard and made your heart skip a beat. You see, there's different seasons in someone's marriage. The seasons of marriage look something like this. The Bible tells us that God has created all the boundaries of the earth, including the rotation around the sun, which causes seasonal changes. The seasons come and go, winter, spring, summer, and fall. So do the seasons of marriage. Relationships are perpetually in a state of transition, continually moving from one season to another. But the seasons of marriage don't always follow the order of nature. You may be in a spring marriage today and in a winter marriage next month. What do the seasons of marriage look like? Sometimes we find ourselves in winter, discouraged, detached, dissatisfied, and sad. Other times we experience springtime with its openness and hope and anticipation and excitement and the zeal for love and just ready to go. On still other occasions, we bask in the warmth of summer, where you're comfortable and you're relaxed, and you want to just bask in the sun, enjoying life, and the zeal of just going and going and going. And then comes fall with its uncertain negligence and apprehension, and the leaves are falling, and you don't know if it's going to be cold or if it's going to be hot, if the leaves are falling off the tree. As the leaves change, so are you. And the cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature. Marriage is just a cycle. First, I think the most important thing of all is getting to know the person. Saving yourself and your virtue for marriage. Sanctification of marriage is one of the most important aspects of falling in love. If he or she is not willing to wait, do they respect you? But I just can't wait. 1 Peter 3.17. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil. Have some of us already done this? Probably so. I mean, seriously, I don't live under a rock. I haven't always been a true Christian. As Romans 3.23 says, we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We do every day. After all, isn't that why God sent his only begotten Son to die on the cross for our sins? So we could have eternal life through salvation? So we can repent daily? That is love. That is an agave love. Can you imagine having to let one of your children die on the cross the way Jesus died on the cross for our sins? And while his or her mother watched on? I couldn't do it. As he was passing the cup around, breaking the bread, he already knew Judas was going to betray him. Yet he loved him. He told him to do it quickly. When they were finished, they sung a hymn, 115 through 118, and they walked to the Mount of Olives. And trust me, this wasn't like walking across the street or walking to the end of the book. This was like a walk. It was like he had to think about this for a while. And then when he got there, Jesus knew his future all along. And he was on bent knee and he was crying tears of blood with an angel by his side. And he knew his faith for a long time. But he loved us that much. Every parent loves their child enough to give their lives up for their children. The hardest thing in the world is to lose a child before you die. So finding the love of your life, where does that truly rank on the scale of importance? I think once I realized that, I wrote a prayer to God, as you all heard on my last podcast. And I put it in my Bible. It was so unobtainable. I knew that there was no way that I could ever get that prayer answered. And you know what? I was fine with that. Because I was fine with God's love. You get not because you ask not. I was all about just studying my Bible, learning and loving God. But most of all, I tried to find out who I was. I didn't know who I was. It was sad. I couldn't tell you my likes or my dislikes. I had a lot to learn. First and foremost, I had to forgive myself and learn to love myself. You see, only then can you love someone else. No matter how hard you try, it will never work until you forgive yourself and learn to love yourself. Then your heart is open to love others, and you want the love of others first. You see, the Holy Spirit was always with me. 2 Peter 1.21b says, and men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. One of my favorite love stories isn't one that you would think of as a love story, but to me it is. It's actually in 1 Kings. Chapter 3, verse 16 through 27. It's about these two women and they're prostitutes. And they came to the king and stood before him. And the one woman said, Oh, please, my lord, this woman and I live in the same house. And we had both had a baby while she was in the house. And on the third day after I gave birth, she also had a baby, and we were alone and no one else was in the house. And just the two of us were in there. And during the night, this woman's son died because she laid on him. And she got up in the middle of the night and she took my son from my side while your servant was asleep and she laid him on her arms and she put her dead son in my arms. And when I got up the next morning to nurse my son, I discovered that he was dead. And that morning, when I looked closely at him, I realized that my son wasn't my son that I gave birth to. No, the other woman said, My son is the living one, your son is the dead one. And the first woman said, No, your son is the dead one. My son is the living one. Excuse me. So they argued before the king, and the king replied, This woman says, This is my son who is alive, and your son is dead. But the woman says, No, your son is dead, and my son is alive. So the king continued, and he said, You know what? Just bring me my sword. I'm gonna take care of this now. Let's just cut this boy into two, and we're gonna give half the son to one woman and half the son to the other woman. And the woman whose son was alive actually spoke up and she said to the king, I feel great compassion for my son, so don't kill the boy, just give it to her. I want him to live. And the other woman, whose son it wasn't, she said, No, cut the boy in half. He will not be mine or hers. Just cut him in two. So the king responded, Give the living baby to the first woman and don't kill him, because she's the actual true mother. Now, all of Israel had heard about the judgment that the king had given, and they stood in awe because they actually knew how much wisdom and disarmament he had, and he had to carry out justice that was very difficult, but he did it. To me, that's a love story that's truer and bigger than any other love story. The love story between a mother and a child is much bigger than a love story between a man and a woman. Because the moment you give birth, there is a love that is like no other. You have an agave love with God, and then you have a love between you and your child. Then you have the love of a marriage. One of my favorite love stories, that was it. Sounds silly, but there you go. Read the story, I think you'll like it. The true mother really showed great compassion and love. The other one may have been mourning, she may have been in shop, she may have had postpartum, we don't know. But it really could possibly be all Satan. As you see, King Solomon knew God. He had great compassion and knowledge. And I would say he had great discernment, and I believe it was all God. Ephesians 6 22. I am sending him to you for this very reason, to let you know how we are and to encourage your hearts. And that's what King Solomon had and did. Unlike today, we forget our first true love, should be God. We must fear him as well. And when I say fear, I'm not talking about scared. I'm talking about fear. You are going to have to answer for commandments broken here on earth and in front of God. I personally would much rather live by his commandments, repent here, and fear God, and love God first, and be filled with the Holy Spirit, then I was able to forgive myself, love myself, and realize nothing is too big for God. I would much rather do it here than be on bended knee, which I'm gonna be on anyway, when I go to heaven and have to face everything that I've done, which I will anyway. We all will. And I know it's gonna be much more than I can even remember. But when I realized that, that's when I finally found true love. I discussed things with him. I never discussed with others, our likes, our dislikes. Each day of the week became an acronym, like Monday was Money Mondays. We discussed our finances, travel Tuesdays, future plans and short-term plans and long travels, weekend Wednesdays. We would discuss what our plans were going to look like for the weekend and so on. You can make your own, but it just helped us communicate and grow so we could learn to comfortably talk about anything and everything. It helped fill our love tanks. As you know, everyone has different types of love languages and different love tanks. Are you a person of words of affirmation? Are you a person that needs gifts? Are you one that needs touch? Are you an acts of service person? Are you in need of quality time? What exactly fills your love tank? You probably don't know. Or if you did, and you took the five love languages tests a while ago, it can change as you get your love tank filled. So the thing that was lacking other times becomes more prevalent. I'm one that needs touch and acts of service and quality time, and they alter back and forth. Once you both find your partners, love language, who your way of loving them is so much easier because if you're doing acts of service, but their love language is words of affirmation, is your husband or wife getting everything they need? No. How easy is that though to fix? Pastor Troy and I will be teaching the five love languages and the apology languages very soon in Tellico Village. Probably August at the public library. We would love to have you. Love isn't just about that feeling inside, although it's a great part of it. It's kind of getting to know one another. Although it's a great part of it, it's like a plant. You plant it, you fertilize it, you water it regularly, then it stops blooming. So you water it once a week, and then finally it dies. And unfortunately it happens more often than we would like to admit, because we lose interest in that plant. Where will you find love? And how? Only God knows that you will find love, or even if you are going to find love. Some of us are not supposed to find love. We are meant to love ourselves. He knows everything about you, even every hair on your head. Jeremiah 1:5. Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. My advice to you is don't look for it. You will never find it. Let it find you. God knows when you're ready for it. How can you tell it's love? It's like nothing you've ever experienced. It's God ordained. You both love God first with an agape love, and then love each other. And each day the love grows stronger because it is all God ordained and it's about God. Ecclesiastes 3:1, a mystery of time. There is an occasion for everything and a time for every activity under heaven. We had people in the 60s called the birds singing rock and roll songs right from the Bible, and we didn't even know it. The remainder of the verses go as follows: a time to give birth and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones, a time to embrace, and a time to avoid embracing, a time to search and a time to count as lost, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear, a time to sow, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love, a time to hate, a time for war, and a time for peace. Now who would have thought of that? Love, it's a gift from God. God must be your first true love and your top priority. Even after courting. And merit. Oh, wait a minute. I guess we don't call it courting anymore. It's hanging out or dating. I'm truly showing my age here. But the agave love is first and foremost. You have to learn to love yourself. You have to learn to find God. You have to know how to talk to him. You have to talk to him like you're talking right now, just like you're talking to your best friend. I have a prayer closet. Sometimes I talk to him there, but my favorite place is in the shower. It almost feels like a baptism. I don't know why, but in there I can talk about anything and I just talk out loud and I just know nobody else can hear. But I just talk to God there. That is my favorite place. But God will always put you where he needs you. Let God handle the rest. The seasons come and go, winter, spring, summer, and fall, and so do the seasons of marriage. Relationships are perpetual in a state of transition, continually moving from one person to another. But the seasons of marriage don't always follow the order of nature. You may be in a spring marriage today, and everything is blooming and it smells great and it's perfect. And in a winter marriage next month, where you're freezing cold and icy, what do the seasons of your marriage look like? Sometimes we find ourselves in winter, discouraged, detached, dissatisfied, and very icy cold. Other times we experience springtime with its openness and the blooming and the hope and anticipation of great things to come. On still other occasions, we bask in the warmth of summer and know everything's gonna be great and comfortable and relaxed, and you're canoeing down the river, enjoying life. It's just perfect. And then comes fall with its uncertainty, and the leaves are falling, and you don't know whether it's going to be cold or whether it's gonna be hot or it's gonna be rainy, and you're apprehensive of everything. The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature. Marriage is a cycle. It never ever stops. You can't change that. Just Pray Over is a nonprofit organization that depends on your donations. My birthday is just around the corner in a couple days, and I'm asking for everybody to just donate what they can. Even a dollar would help. The donation link is on our page. All proceeds go directly to an account that will be used to build a woman and children's shelter with a church. And the shelter is to give them the tools that many of others don't have, that I didn't have. So they don't go from the frying pan into the fire, but they go from the frying pan into a place where they can be built up, where they can have the tools in their toolbox to feel better about themselves and have a life skill and to help those children have a better life. I'm gonna close us in prayer today in hopes that some. Someone understands that loving yourself first and letting God in is the most important thing of all. When the Holy Spirit enters you and you follow John 3:16, you will understand exactly what I'm talking about. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. I'm telling you, it will change your life. Lord, you have created different seasons on the earth, and we can see different seasons in our lives. But I know you did not create us to be in cold, wintry relationships. Encourage us as friends, as a couple, to renew the hope and optimism we have for our relationships. When our relationship is in trouble, filled with rejection and discouragement, help us to find a wise advisor. Give us the grace and energy to work on rejuvenating love between everybody and ourselves. Don't let us continually fail and fall. And if we do, help us get back up. Thank you for making us and protecting us in our marriage. Don't let anything tear us apart. Show us what it means to be one. We want our words and thoughts to make you happy. Keep us focused on your word and the beauty of all you've made. When we fall in love, our attention is consumed by our partner. The moments together are the best part of the day. The character and interests are exciting to discover. We do all we can to express our love and make each other happy. We want that. Do a powerful work in everybody's marriage to renew their commitment and heal what's broken. Let us love as you've loved us. We don't want anything to come between us and steal that love. Provide time and space for us to enjoy one another. Bind us together in you and through the Holy Spirit. I pray all these things in your heavenly name. If there's one soul that this touched today, I pray that you send me a message. We can now answer your messages, which is very cool. So please reach out. Amen. This is Cindy Liu, signing off with Just Pray Over It. I hope you all have a very blessed day. Amen.