Have You Ever Been Afraid? I Have

Have You Ever Been Afraid? I Have 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Good mor good afternoon, listeners. This is Cindy Shaw coming to you live from a beautiful campground here in Tennessee, right on the little pigeon river. I can see the mountains in front of me, and it's been raining for a couple days, and we finally got a little break in weather, and so it's very cloudy and overcasted, but well-needed rain. Today we're going to talk about being scared. Is there anyone at any time that hasn't been? Well, the answer is yes. But Jesus was even scared when he cried out to his father in heaven. But let's look at Job. Job 19, 25 through 27 in the NLT says, I know that my Redeemer lives, and he will stand upon the earth that last, and after my body has decayed, yet in my body, I will see God. I will see him for myself. Yes, I will open with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought. Just in a matter of days, Job lost everything, and it was destroyed. First, 11,000 livestock and servants were stolen, burned, or killed, and then all ten of his children died at once. And to make matters worse, this unfortunate man's skin was actually plagued with painful sores all over his body, which he started scraping with broken pieces of pottery. Now, on top of losing everything, he was taunted by his friends and his wife. But his faith was unweakened. I mean, he wasn't even shaken by all these tests. However, he clutches desperately to the one promise that could sustain him. No matter what happened to Job in this earthbound life, nothing would take him away from the joy that he would share with God as in his eternal life. Recently, this story came to me and reminded me I had absolutely nothing to be afraid of. As I was laying in a recliner at the infusion center, which I was sitting there and I was attached to the hospital chair, and I was told that my phosphate numbers were in the critical range, so I had to start taking them twice a week. Well, interesting enough, I was told a few years ago I had PKD, which is polycystic kidney disease. It's basically a death sentence because you don't find out until you're much older. And of course, when somebody needs a kidney, it usually goes to somebody much younger. Because once you get to stage five, that's when you're eligible for a kidney transplant. And stage four is when you go to dialysis. So as I'm sitting there, I knew kind of what was getting ready to happen. So the infusions take about four hours. And then you two hours before you have to go get labs, you have to wait for them. So it's like a six and a half hour day. So it's a long afternoon. So as I'm waiting for my numbers, I get my numbers back. My husband was listening as I was receiving them. And when they told me that I was in the critical range, my husband was listening, and he's watching a woman further down getting admitted. And I could see him and his face changing. And I could tell that he was nervous. His facial expressions he wears very obviously. And now I'm on my third round and I'm still critical, and I could see his concern. And I started to tear up, almost crying, and I became scared. And not for the reasons you would think. I wasn't afraid to be admitted. I wasn't afraid to die. I wasn't afraid to go on dialysis. I wasn't afraid of any of those things. I was afraid that I wasn't going to spend as much time with my husband as I wanted to. As he quickly reminded me, time will pass quickly till we meet again. It made me smile. I could hear God saying, I have many rooms. I started thinking. I wondered, what exactly does that mean? Are you put in a room based on how deep your roots were? No. How much you were glorified him? No. There is room for many is what that means. Everybody, actually, everybody on the earth. Think about this. How many thoughts does the human mind think about in one hour? Or in a day, or in a week, a month, or in a year for that matter? How much of that time is spent on thinking about God? Does God work sharing his word, being a good disciple? Or are you too busy making grocery lists or taking the kids to a soccer game or to the dentist? Memorizing rock and roll songs, planning a party for the weekend. So we're where in all these things did you think or talk to God today? In the car in front of your children? Sometimes temporary details overshadow the one comfort and promise we can rely on. Jesus' death, resurrection, and ascension for our eternal salvation. Wiping away the other thoughts are almost physically impossible, but you can incorporate God into them. So you are left with this truth. At all times, share the word and be a good disciple. I enjoy doing it while I'm sitting there getting my infusions and every chance I get. Matter of fact, I met a gentleman while I was getting my infusions who needed some milk and bread. I offered to go get it for him. Unfortunately, his wife had just had hip surgery and he had a kidney disease as well. I couldn't help him because he ended up having to take her to the hospital, which is another story in itself. But 1 Peter says, instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope, as a believer, always be ready to explain it. It's truly why I wear my salvation bracelet. People always question it. What is that? A friendship bracelet? My answer is it's a friendship bracelet, all right, about my salvation with Jesus. Would you like to know about the colors and what they stand for? And I don't hold back. Black stands for sin that separates us from God, for all have fallen short for the glory of God. Romans 3.23. Red stands for the blood that Jesus shed for us on the cross. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son so that he could die on the cross for us. John 3.16, so that we could have eternal life. Blue is for our faith in Jesus Christ. We became right with God, not by doing what the law commands, but by faith in Jesus Christ, Galatians 2.16. White reminds us we are forgiven of our sins. Purity, purify me from my sins, and I will be clean. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow. Psalm 51.7. Green stands for growing relationships with God. Grow in the special favor and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 3.18. Yellow reminds us of the promise of eternal life. Jesus said, I am going to prepare a place for you. I will come and get you so that you will always be with me where I am. John 14, 2-3-3. I remember prior to my salvation, I was always scared. I was scared of my father. I was scared of my mother. I was scared I wasn't good enough. I was scared I never did anything right. I was scared to walk into a room by myself that everybody was looking at me. I was scared of all my relationships failing, and so they did. And the more I was scared, the more Satan attacked. The worse my life was. I allowed Satan to just attack me. I didn't even realize it. Until, as you know, the restaurant was robbed and a gun was held to my head, and I ran to the altar. But that's when I realized I was pregnant. Then Satan came in again. Why? Because a new Christian is the one he wants to attack. And then you ask why? Well, he just lost another one, right? So God was always with me, but I always wasn't with God. He had to wake me up a few times. From multiple back surgeries, 13 to be exact, more hardware between my SI joints, spine, and neck. I lost my large intestines, my gallbladder, my appendix, two knee surgeries, bilateral foot surgeries, total hysterectomy, bilateral hand surgery, cancer through my nose. Now I've got PKD. Now I'm saying, I'm awake, God. I hear you. You have me here for a reason. What is it? What is the reason you have me here for? You never know. But I realized I needed to be rebaptized at some point. Something inside me had changed. I dedicated my life to Christ like never before. I had a true church family at New Hope. I loved my pastors and my entire congregation. I knew my life changed, and I also heard God like never before. Realized I wasn't valued at home and wasn't happy, and I hadn't been for a long time. I wasn't in a Christian marriage. My life, my and my spouse, and I had been separated for years, living in separate parts of the home. I felt like everything he made and everything he did that was a mistake, he would make up to me with a big gift. He forgot my birthday, I got a car. He had his bedroom and his living space for years, and I had mine. It wasn't a marriage at all. Something wasn't right spiritually, and it took me 12 weeks in a hospital to connect all the dots. He was baptized at 12 years old in the Pensacola Bay, saved in his 30s with his second wife. That's not the way salvation works. It's totally backwards. Luke 23, Jesus was hung between two criminals, and the one cursed him and told him to save them and himself if he was the true Messiah. And the other said that they were punished justly. Don't you even fear God? This man has done nothing wrong. Then he says, Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. And Jesus then told him, Truly, I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise. So his salvation and forgiveness was right then and there on the cross. Could that have happened if he had been baptized? I think not. I haven't truly been scared in a long time. I've been sad. I felt great loss. I've never before in my life, but not scared because I know deep down I've made the right decisions. Luckily, I now have family members that agree. I'll never forget the time I left my friend at the hospital and I was headed back home. I decided to call my ex-husband and let him know that the time of death was getting close and how sad I was. This was right after I came up to Tennessee, not about two months in. And I cried and told him how much I missed my son and my grandson, and I'll never forget his response. I miss your cooking and I miss your cleaning. If you come home, I'll fix everything between you and the kids. Hmm. What exactly did that mean? I know the first part meant he never said, I miss you and I love you, so we obviously know I made the right decision. The second part, you see, my son seems to think I just got up and left him, and that's not the case. I tried for two months to meet with him and let him know where we were getting a div that we were getting a divorce, and my gosh, we still lived together, and we were divorced. See, we hadn't been in a relationship in years. He knew that, but I had to go where I felt closest to God, and that was in the mountains, where I would be with someone who had the same disease as I did to see what my end of life would look like. But then I ended up in the hospital for 12 weeks, and he was mad because he said I wasn't the one who told him. So I wrote letters for six months, apologized, but the forgiveness hasn't come. Psalm 130, verse 3 through 4. Lord, if you kept an account of my inquities, Lord, if you could stand, but with you there is forgiveness, so you may be revered. So I wait for the Lord and put my hope in his word. I wait for the Lord more than the watchman for the morning. I will continue to send birthday cards and Christmas gifts, Easter baskets all filled from the heart and from love. Love deep down in my heart, in hopes one day he will understand that the love between a child and the mother is stronger than he could possibly understand. A mother's love never dies. I'm not scared. I know this is just Satan doing his work. I pray every day that the blood of Jesus and the Son's my son's salvation and his family's salvation will come, and I know it will. I just hope I'm here to see it. As Psalm 40 says, if he could do this for me, I know that he can do this for anyone, he brought me up from a desolate pit out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and they will trust in the Lord. How happy is anyone who has put his trust in the Lord and has not turned to the proud or to those who run after lies. Lord my God, you have done many things. Your wondrous works and your plans for us none can compare with you. If I were to report and speak on them, they are more than can be told. You do not delight in sacrifice and offend you, open my ears to listen. So I'm still getting my infusions every week, twice a week, and actually my numbers had gone down even more. My husband just had back surgery, and yes, it's been very difficult because the infusions make me very sick. And my husband worries even more. So he tries to act even stronger than he actually is. And that worries me even more. My my entire body cramps and it becomes very sore, especially where I've had the most surgeries, which is in my back. So yes, I'm in constant pain right now, and we're both down and decided to recover in our camper, looking at the water and the mountains. I'm not scared of the next stage. I know now a cyst is gone on my is on my pancreas, and I'm fine with that. I also now know I have the best husband. He shows me daily. He loves me unconditionally. Even when I look my worst, when I'm swollen up from the infusions, he still compliments me. I know he truly means it, even when he's under anesthesia. When I walked in, he was telling me how hot I was. I couldn't help for laughing because I looked a wreck. But he was on truce serum, so I know he was telling me the truth. Under anesthesia. God sent me a pastor, a God-fearing, loving man, a man I wasn't sure I would be worthy of having. But my sister recently reminded me, I made the best decision for me I have ever made. Yes, you've lost a lot, but you've gained even more. I thought about what she said, and I'd have to agree. She did say, I wish you had only met him sooner. I'm closer to God now than I've ever been. And I've got a God-loving husband that loves God first and then loves me. But everything is in God's timing. So why would I be scared? I've got God. Do you have God? If not, feel free to reach out to me or to a pastor, and I'm sure we can help you. I read something today in my women's devotional book that went with this, and I'd like to share it with you. The sin and sadness of life can make it seem like an endless night where we are continually waiting for the dawn of Christ's return. In the darkest of nights, it doesn't always help to know that he will return someday because this day is full of despair. To you, his beloved daughter, he gives comfort. Don't lose heart. He is coming for you. It can be hard because he seems to be taking a long time. But he is preparing a place for you. You are not forgotten in his long night. Your pain is familiar to him. Keep your eyes fixed on him. Soon you will hear his voice. He is also longing for this moment. That put me at calm. It filled my heart and softened everything. If you're someone that's sick, or if you're somebody that knows where you're going, you'll understand what that means. If you're somebody that's sick and doesn't know where they're going, like I said, please reach out to a pastor, reach out to Pastor Troy, or reach out to myself. We will be more than happy to help you through your salvations. It's as easy as ABC. And I just want to thank you all for listening. This wasn't an easy podcast for me, but I wanted to share the fact that we all get scared sometimes for different reasons. But once you come to Christ, it's a different type of scared. It's not a scared to die or scared of any of those things. It's a peaceful feeling. It's wonderful. Um I pray that you all have a very blessed day. I think I'm gonna let Pastor Troy close this in prayer today. Pastor Troy, would you like to do that? I know I'm putting on the song. I said, I'm sorry I threw that on you.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day that you've given us, Father. We thank you for your wonderful beauty. If there is one listener that does not know you, Father, or is not a sheep in your flock, please have them reach out to somebody to get them into your flock. And Father, we just ask blessings on each and every listener as they listen, Father, just for whatever they their needs are, Father, just give it to them. And whatever their wants, if they're not extravagant, Father, give it to them also. In Jesus' name we pray this. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Amen. I hope you all have I hope y'all have a day. This is Cindy and Tori Shaw signing off from beautiful Tennessee.